Have you heard of Western Europe? It's not a binary choice between "eat or be eaten", "the poor are just lazy" vs. "force attractive people to have sex with unattractive ones", "brave new world" utopia.

Western European programmers still live very well, they just aren't as rich as in the US. And the high taxes do moderate and blunt the cutthroat competition to a degree, which results in less crazy work life balance etc.

Of course these debates get very heated because everyone wants the system that would give them more. I was born to poor parents who could afford their own education because it's free here. My relatives had a social net to bounce back from during rough times (primary school teacher). It's not good for a society to have a large portion who feel existential dread and that the only way up is taking huge risks that often require initial capital.

The reason it is like this in the US is because it's not a nation. It's just atomic families and people from all over the world, tolerating each other and minding their own business. There is no feeling of solidarity, especially across races.