Bowling social clubs assume everyone has a lot of free time, does not have small kids or offloaded all kids care on partner.
It's not like you're a bad parent if you're only reading them a bedtime story 5 days a week instead of 7.
Of course, there are still a lot of things competing for that discretionary time - exercise, or a job with a longer commute, or socialising, or working late, or professional development, or volunteering, or a hobby, or relaxing, or political engagement.
And hell, if you like that extra 2 evenings reading bedtime stories more than you like bowling, that's a completely valid choice too. Wouldn't have had kids if you didn't like that sort of thing, after all.
And the other aspect that you unappreciate is that they were not time for yourself not time she you get rest and get to do what you want. They over time are another social obligation. You need me time on top of that.
Also, bedtime story is like 10 minutes typically. That is not the issue. The issue is that your partner wants free time too, so the sort of free time you have gotta be split fairly.
Sure. So Mom helps with the homework on Mondays and Fridays, Dad helps with the homework on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and both parents help on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.
Is this it? Widespread social isolation as the fallout of the two income trap? It could be.
Meanwhile the money from the second job gets eaten up by commuting and childcare costs etc., and being thrust into a higher tax bracket, but also from having to outbid other two income households for artificially scarce housing in good school districts, which you can't avoid by not doing it yourself and so it's prisoner's dilemma. The two income trap is a real thing.
I am assuming that sometimes you need to be alone and just rest too. You can't spend all the time in obligations only without your moods being affected.
With 60 hours a week, the above itself is limited. Even without bowling league, with that much working you don't do anything else, you are work only person basically.
Most of what you call other priorities does not disappear if you don't want to do it or prefer social. If you don't feel like doing it tonight, simply, someone else have more chores to do.
On the one hand, social clubs have been evaporating. Bowling leagues, rotary clubs, ham radio clubs etc. They're fading, and this predates 2020. These things are compatible with individualism -- it's freedom of association. But in practice people aren't doing them as much anymore.
On the other hand, the bureaucratization of social assistance. If you need help you don't go to people in your community who already know your face and the specifics of your plight, you fill out a form on a computer and some algorithm decides whether you get a supermarket gift card.
Both of these trends are isolating but it's not because of where we put the trade off between individualism and collectivism, it's because we're doing both of them poorly.