I can see where the confusion arises - I wondered too. Using the conditional tense would help a lot here, unless there was a reason for creating the impression that this was a real tweet.

So it would become:

>Today, a tenth grader who perhaps may not be our finest societal achievement judging from a cursory glance at her neck tattoo that proudly proclaims “To hot 4 you”, could drunkenly sit on her keyboard and mistakenly send out a tweet that six hundred thousand people read within the hour.

Ah, that wasn't clear. Thanks for the clarification :)