> An investment is an asset or item acquired with the goal of generating income or appreciation. Appreciation refers to an increase in the value of an asset over time. When an individual purchases a good as an investment, the intent is not to consume the good but rather to use it in the future to create wealth. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/i/investment.asp

Buying Beanie Babies or tulip bulb futures or cryptocurrencies because you expect the value to increase over time is absolutely an "investment". They might be good or bad ideas to invest in, but they're without a doubt an investment.

Then don't, because clearly you made incorrect claims to start with.