This all sounds very familiar, the same inner monologue, imagined interaction later, unfortunate fear and the suppression of those thoughts/ fears on the occasion I do get to do something.

I’ve had a bit of a different experience on psychedelics though. They’ve tended to explode those fears but vomit them up in a way that makes me reflect on them that I would normally subconsciously suppress. Not a very pleasant experience, but incredibly interesting, but due to other side effects I rarely try it.