> She pushed hard. It was important to her. She got the email that her certification came through the day after the birth. She didn't care. All she want's to do right now is take care of her baby.

I had a similar discussion with my brother the other day. After multiple miscarriages, they're finally pregnant, 17 weeks in and healthy.

He worked from the time he was a teenager joining military reserves, degree in criminology and kinesiology, and finally a provincial constable around 6+ years in to get to where he is.

An hour after their latest ultrasound, his only words were: work sucks.

Congrats to your brother! We can share in both their grief and their joy, as we've suffered through multiple miscarriages too.

The time with the father is also important. Did you consider to take a one year sabbatical to be with your daughter instead of sitting in an office all day?

I would if I could. I'd retire and be full-time Dad (among other things) if I didn't have all these dang bills to pay ;-) I did consider a 12-week sabbatical, but couldn't afford it since we just bought a house. I do plan on prioritizing daddy-daughter time though, because it's important to me. When I mentioned the efficiencies meaning more time for family, that was including myself.

I hear you.

As a dad: I tried to take as much time as I could, to spend time with my kid when they were very young (sadly, not anywhere near enough).

The times I could during their younger years led to some memorable memories and jokes, which I still lovingly rib them about MANY years later.

I’d rather have been sight seeing or exploring with my kid, but we live in a society where parents aren’t equipped to teach their children.

I'm very privileged to have gotten 12 months paternity leave, even in Sweden that is a bit unusual but not unheard of. I had 7 months at 70% pay financed from the goverment, so I had to pay a lot and it was a bit risky. In the end my girl got a better job because of the time I spent with my daughter, and I had a wonderfull time.

So for me personally getting those 12 weeks alone with the child would be worth every penny, and can be very liberating for your wife, but the first two months were hard on me. Good luck, what ever you decide.

It's great that she's made that choice, and it's also great that it's her choice to make. That wasn't the case before.

Not because of people forcing other people to not do things. Because most of the things were super dangerous, and there wasn't enough value sloshing around to have lots of nice time-flexible desk jobs.