Regarding work, I was a dumbass actually. I didn't share with any superior what was going on, spent months both hating myself and also fearing being "found out". But recently I felt so overwhelmed that I had to bring it up. I was afraid to do it, only to find out I should've done it much earlier. My manager and my skip-level were incredibly understanding and accomodating once I shared with them, and even offered to reduce my "available capacity" when planning next quarter's work, with no reduction in salary or anything. Truly amazing.

I'm still quite low in productivity, but it's great to have the space to be so while I sort things out.

I am confident that it will get better! And you should be too.

Also, I am not sure if you are doing therapy, but I would really recommend David Burn's CBT guide [1] (the meat of the book is in the first part).

[1]: https://www.pdfdrive.com/feeling-good-by-david-burns-e334132...

Right now, there's someone thinking of you and believing that you will continually improve :)