What sort of weight are we talking?

I'm wondering if the stories we hear from more experienced weightlifters like you are because you were pulling, say, 400+ lbs. I don't know, but I think the danger probably goes up exponentially as you cross a threshold of average physical tissue capacity. My all time DL max was 405, and I generally pulled around 365. DLs only made my crappy back feel better.

Not the above comment but I find the story a bit suspect. I have many friends in the competitive powerlifting world and while many have nagging injuries, almost none of them came directly from deadlifting. That's my experience as well, I have pulled over 600 at 181 and never came close to an injury from the lift but I can't say the same for squat (knee, hip, and shoulder pain) and bench (wrist and lower back pain).

unlucky me i guess.

my physio basically said some people are born with better biomechanics and better structural strength for competitive lifting than others and i'm just not one of them.

if i can get back to at least a 400 lb DL i'd be pretty happy.

Yes I suspect the same. I personally find deadlifts by far the most effective and easy exercise for preventing back pain and generally feeling healthier and more comfortable with a sitting desk job that I have found. However I have experimented a lot and I can get that benefit from lifting just 1x body weight, which is trivially easy for me and doesn't seem to pose any real risk of injury.