I agree in part, but completely ignoring the management and choice aspects to whatever greatest extent that they are present is also forfeiting one of the best local responses.

I think that’s where the Starbucks and avocado toast tropes come from. They’re not 100% right, but they’re surely not 100% wrong either.

I work with engineers who are making 6-figures and struggling with money or on course for a poor retirement. For those people, it’s 97+% choices IMO.

ok, now tell us how that applies to the family with 3 kids where both parents work and rent is 70% of their income?

It applies by the greatest extent possible being zero, which is why I phrased it that way.

did they know rent would be 70% of their income when they decided to have their first child? their third?

This is pretending a world is perfect. If pregnancy were easy to prevent, folks would have done it well before modern times. But that simply isn't the case. It doesn't matter if they knew the rent was that high, and it isn't like folks can avoid this in all areas.

Expecting a couple to never have sex is unreasonable and pregnancy cannot always be prevented. In some areas, access to abortion is abysmal, though in some areas, a woman can get the day after pill for emergencies - but that's hardly prevention.

As far as pregnancy prevention: The best prevention is actually male sterilization. Condoms break. Every single prevention method for women have a failure rate, including sterilization methods. For hormonal birth control, lots of things affect it, including some medicines.

And this is all assuming folks can afford medical care and prescriptions, which you need for most forms of birth control. I'm not sure anywhere in the US will mail condoms to you for free (unsure of how well spermicide alone performs or if they still sell a sponge for women). Heck, a young woman who doesn't want children cannot generally get sterilized, insurance often doesn't pay for it, it isn't cheap, and IIRC you need time off.

okay, I concede there are some parts of the world where family planning is actually pretty difficult. but think about the chain of things that have to go wrong to have an unplanned child in most wealthy countries.

you have to improperly use (or eschew entirely) the several forms of birth control available. you don't need insurance to buy condoms, and they are not particularly expensive. even if you can't afford to buy hormonal birth control, an IUD, or condoms outright, you can often get them for free or very cheap through planned parenthood. if you are even using one of these correctly, your risk of pregnancy in a given year is <= 2%. if you combine them, the risk is well under 1%. if you mess up somewhere along the way or are one of those spectacularly unlucky people who gets pregnant anyway, abortion is still legal (for now, at least) in all 50 US states. once again, you can get this for free or a greatly reduced price through planned parenthood.

if everything I mentioned above has gone wrong and you actually bring a child into the world that you did not plan for, you can still put the child up for adoption. the demand for newborns is quite a bit higher than the number that are actually available for adoption.

I can easily believe there are a lot of parents out there who had good plans for raising their children that went sideways due to truly unforeseeable circumstances. I think there are also a lot of parents who chose to have children without having any idea how they would support them. what I don't believe is that there is a meaningful number of parents in wealthy countries who are stuck supporting children they had no intention of raising.

You have to afford birth control, which isn't always an easy feat. I've lived plenty of places where, being poor, I couldn't afford to travel to planned parenthood.

Lots of folks get pregnant on these: Most folks can't take birth control pills perfectly. (I Personally cannot use hormonal birth control at all without major side effects, and wanted to be sterilized - but that's not generally an option for childless women)

Abortion is legal, sure: But it isn't free either and in some states, it takes travel and things to get there.

Expecting folks to put their child up for adoption is simply cruel. Besides, we should look at more than financial viability for folks. I'd rather help folks raise whatever children they have than sell children off (taxpayer funded is the way to go) and I'd much rather foster homes and adoption of older children be encouraged.

Maybe they were high earners who had any number of setbacks. There are plenty of ways anyone can stumble financially.

Most people also make financial mistakes. The people who had help, or enough slack to recover shouldn't look down on the ones who don't.

What is wrong with a poor retirement? What is wrong with enjoying life today? What if your plan is simply never to retire?