Re:Do You Judge a Stranger
by mattswainblog on Sunday October 04, 2020 @06:45AM
(#24677894)
We all have countless interactions with strangers every day. Sometimes, these conversations can have a big impact on people. People decide whether to give a stranger a job, put them in prison, or let them be your kids babysitter. These exchanges are fundamental to society – but are we any good at them?
What’s there to understand.
We believe that we can get inside the heart of others based on very limited information. This causes us to jump at the chance to judge strangers. Yet, we would never do that to ourselves as we understand we are complex and enigmatic.
Truth makes the world go round.
We hold the assumption that people are being honest with us. We default to truth. Society needs this to function though, imagine if we lived our lives without believing anyone. When someone defaults to truth, but is wrong, we shouldn’t punish them.
Transparency.
Because we usually have limited communication, we don’t take the time to understand the stranger properly. This causes us to make sense of them through their behaviour and demeanour.
When we confront a stranger, we have a substitute idea or stereotype of them; and that stereotype is wrong far too often.
They are complicated.
Strangers are fragile. If we are careless then what we are trying to find out, will crumple under our feet. We need to accept that the search to understand a stranger has real limits and that we can never know the whole truth.
Context.
The idea of coupling is that ideas and situations are tied to specific places. When talking to strangers we need to understand the importance of the context in which the stranger is operating. Don’t look at the stranger and jump to conclusions. Look at the stranger’s world.
Sign up for more at www.mattswain.co.uk/newsletter
What’s there to understand.
We believe that we can get inside the heart of others based on very limited information. This causes us to jump at the chance to judge strangers. Yet, we would never do that to ourselves as we understand we are complex and enigmatic.
Truth makes the world go round.
We hold the assumption that people are being honest with us. We default to truth. Society needs this to function though, imagine if we lived our lives without believing anyone. When someone defaults to truth, but is wrong, we shouldn’t punish them.
Transparency.
Because we usually have limited communication, we don’t take the time to understand the stranger properly. This causes us to make sense of them through their behaviour and demeanour.
When we confront a stranger, we have a substitute idea or stereotype of them; and that stereotype is wrong far too often.
They are complicated.
Strangers are fragile. If we are careless then what we are trying to find out, will crumple under our feet. We need to accept that the search to understand a stranger has real limits and that we can never know the whole truth.
Context.
The idea of coupling is that ideas and situations are tied to specific places. When talking to strangers we need to understand the importance of the context in which the stranger is operating. Don’t look at the stranger and jump to conclusions. Look at the stranger’s world.
Sign up for more at www.mattswain.co.uk/newsletter