When I entered college as a CS major, there were a lot of kids who already had programming experience, and they had an edge. After four years, that edge faded, and what mattered was the individual.
Sounds like you've been reading too much Slashdot, not enough HN.
Seriously, I'm a hacker and not any of those things (not that I am or ever was Mr. Popular either). I think there likely is some cognitive secret sauce that makes some people much more likely to be competent programmers, but I don't think it's maladjustment. [The Camel Has Two Humps](http://www.cs.mdx.ac.uk/research/PhDArea/saeed/paper1.pdf) paper I saw linked somewhere (probably here) seemed like a promising approach for showing who has the sauce.
The authors are now working on describing the sauce more carefully, and it looks like they're providing some of the testing materials they're using at http://www.cs.mdx.ac.uk/research/PhDArea/saeed/ .
Being a jackass does not make you a better coder, it just makes you a jackass.
I was trying to say that not everyone is cut out for coding, and if you haven't had an interest in it (or that type of thing) before, you probably won't be very good at it. I have seen this with a bunch of people who thought they'd get into IT and be millionaires.
In my experience, if someone does not have the mindset for coding (anal retentive, OCD, borderline autistic, you know the type ;)), then trying to make them is an excercise in frustration.
Maybe better to focus on the things you are good at, such as business development, marketing, sales and whatever else is crucial in a startup.