> Some people aren't really hurt but like to erase your message by depicting your expression as hurtful.

I hear this fear a lot, and have never seen any evidence of it whatsoever. Not saying it doesn't exist - just that I haven't experienced it. The only people who've ever mentioned to me that my word-choices were harmful did so with an intention to educate and reduce-harm-to-themselves-or-others, not to undermine or silence me.

There can only be as much evidence as for something being hurtful. You cannot read minds, but I don't think it far fetched that sometimes it seems to be more about validation and getting your way instead of being genuinely affected.

Never experienced that yourself? Babies do so very commonly when they cry. My understanding is that adults get out of it to a degree.

I guess the vast majority of people do so with honest intend and some don't. If it is about definitions and wording on hot button issues, I think the latter group to be disproportionally large.

> If it is about definitions and wording on hot button issues, I think the [group who intentionally misrepresent their emotions] to be disproportionally large.

And I disagree; and based on that fundamental disagreement, we're never going to reach agreement on the derived conclusion. Oh well.