This is why I can't run a company.

"Sometimes, it's probably almost approximately around what we think could be along the spectrum of known values." - Me, as CEO.

"Our business is not a coherent single entity and we don't have the best operational policies that try to remedy that so I won't make any promises about quality while still sounding like we're worth $1b"

"I apologize for having misspoke earlier. The correct quote is: '...while still sounding like we're maybe worth $1b.' We could be worth more than the disclosed amount; however, we aren't sure if or how often, if ever, someone may be counting that number. It's really up in the air on occasion at around this point." - Me, still CEO, now an award-winning CEO.