The other thing is that airplane crashes are very often
catastrophic. A whole lot more people survive car
accidents than die in them.
I'm speechless. You think that's something positive? Another way to phrase the same thing: not only cars kill a lot more people than planes, they also multilate and injure even more. Only 4 people died last year in air accident in US (http://www.planecrashinfo.com/2007/2007.htm), which makes it 10,000 more likely to die in a car accident.You're right in your other point - it seems people don't mind dying so long as they have illusion they could have prevented it. Only when people feel powerless they become afraid.
I think that's a big part of the reason. I know I'd feel a lot safer (if I was qualified) flying an airplane than having someone else do it. Having a large measure of control over a potentially dangerous situation is reassuring.
The other thing is that airplane crashes are very often catastrophic. A whole lot more people survive car accidents than die in them.