Go's approach of minimal knobs leads to unfixable problems in production. Java gives more options to tune GC for your use case
I didn't bring up Go, but since you did the thing I see is that Go -- a much younger language -- is going places Java never has, or did so only haltingly. Caddy is a case in point. Here is Go taking on nginx, haproxy, Envoy, etc.
The people that once imagined using Java for such things have retired or moved on to other battles. No one seriously ponders attempting 'systems' tasks with Java any longer; that whole space was ceded to more efficient languages. My opinion is that Java's poor efficiency -- a big part of which is its excessive memory consumption -- is the reason for this.
That's my opinion. What I know for fact is that today, when people are making design decisions about new services and their deployment, Java is a problem; it is understood that anything implemented in Java is going to sort right to the top of the list of memory pigs in the cluster, and you can only afford so many of those.
Indeed. That fact obviates this option in most cases. You have to spend time tweaking obscure, unstable knobs (the X in Xmx means Oracle is free to alter its meaning at any time) and risk either a.) serious failures in production or b.) poor results because the conservative choices necessary to avoid 'a' achieved little improvement and you wasted your time. The real world for most enterprises is a vast heard of communicating components and toying with GC switches multiplied by N things is a nonstarter.
So while you're technically correct that excessive memory use by conventional JVMs is "not always true," in practice you are wrong. That reality comes with a real cost that appears on a real bill every single month.