My company failed in the back-wash of the "dot-bomb" (we were not strictly a dot-com play - but close enough that we got caught in the back-wash), and while I would have preferred IPOing (not really possible in early 2000) or M&A (actually, similar reasons), I got really DEPRESSED!. Now, I was just the founder, not the CEO, but the journey from garage to supremacy (if you even make it) is a ride, maaan!
I always found the garage loneliness that you find people lamenting on HackerNews to be a lot more bearable than 10 shareholders and 250 employees and (in our case) 20 global enterprise customers. I am certainly not sure that I have it in me to attempt again. Psychologically, I mean.
We have two kids and I do not regret one second what we have today, and one second what we used to have.
Equally superbe times in our lives, I wild not go back, and I wild not change what we did.
Speaking for myself, I know that I would hate to have my freedom taken away by having children. I also know that my sister, who has a four year old and a one year old, has been miserable and exhausted for much of the last four years.
I cannot accurately describe the joy that fatherhood brings me.... despite the reduced sleep and increased stress.
By a magnitude of 10x, Fatherhood has surpassed anything i have experienced prior.
As a not-yet-made-it startup guy it definitely feels like playing on "expert mode". But with a supportive partner and some careful life choices, it feels pretty good. It helps that my cofounder has a kid almost the same age as mine, and we've been going through this together.
If you could choose between a future where your happiness doubled but one of your loved ones died, or the unadjusted future, which would you prefer?
Which of these would you choose?
A. Have children and be less happy, more stressed, and have less money and less free time for your a ~25 year stretch somewhere between ages 20 and 60.
B. Don't have children, be less happy, poorer, much busier, and more stressed during those years, but potentially more happy in your old age.
Happiness is a kind of short term thing. Life has better things to offer in my view.
You'd really have to hate your loved ones for that first option to be viable.
Nature plays a big role in it: I really felt like having kids (which surprised me) and I sure will do everything I can to protect them, but my life is a constant fight with depression.
There is probably the opposite mechanism at play: having invested years of pain in them, you value your kids the more time passes.
I'm sure things will improve once they're 4-5 and they're a bit better behaved / we can start sleeping again / we can start having some time for ourselves as well.
Sort of the opposite story.
How that relates to Page (& Brin) ... I don't know.
Sometimes the things you create grow way beyond your capacity to handle and become soul crushing endeavors that bear little resemblance to the early years of adventure, fulfillment and satisfaction in serving others, and the wise thing to do would be to step aside and preserve your sanity and peace of mind.