Formula is pretty close but the antibodies are a big deal, especially early on. It’s a good idea to breastfeed or pump if at all possible, but it’s not possible for everyone.

My wife would spend hours pumping (baby wouldn’t latch) and only produce a few ounces. We always started with that and then supplemented with formula. The kids seem fine.

On the idea of a wetnurse being “gross”, do you drink cows milk? Because that’s basically like having your own cow wetnurse. Sharing milk obviously isn’t for everyone, but don’t dismiss it offhand.