He also spent a lot of time with me on understanding that motivation and discipline are most times just thin wrappers around what people actually want. Thinking less about "If I were just more disciplined I would be able to do this" and more about "If I actually wanted to do this I probably would", and then focusing on what you actually want, or why you don't want something, is probably a much more valuable of a use of time for some people than thinking about motivation or discipline.
I am not posting this to say "If you're a disciplined person, you're wrong" - but moreso "If you're a person that believes you struggle with motivation/discipline, maybe you can rethink those concepts".
He said "Be tougher."
To paraphrase the context: mental toughness is a choice, and if you aren't as tough as you want, you just have to be tougher. Choose it. In each moment when you are tested.
Thanks for your comment. For a while I had been wondering why I couldn't focus, wasn't able to accomplish some simple long term goals, etc. Be tougher was my fix, and your comment expands on some ideas in a way that makes sense to me.
I'm not going to debate you because there isn't a debate.
Scheduled violations of the rules seem to paradoxically help you follow the rules. Tim Ferris advocates for one dietary cheat day per week, with the idea that it takes incredible will power to give up donuts forever, but almost anyone can put it off until Friday.
Schedule your cheats.
Edit: scheduling is also great for beating procrastination. “I will change my oil at 7:30pm Tuesday” is way more effective than “I need to change my oil soon”