> using XMPP and ejabberd as a message backplane for your website
Why not 0mq and json ? Something like Mongrel2 perhaps?
Because then you'd have to implement your own presence, discovery, and routing mechanisms. You get all of that (and more) for free with an XMPP backplane like ejabberd. Even if you decide it's better to roll your own, you'll then have to come up with a consistency and clustering model in order to scale it.
The most interesting obvious usecase to me would be using XMPP and ejabberd as a message backplane for your website, hanging various components off of ejabberd that can integrate with your web connection.