What is the war you talk about? I was always interested in cool technology, not war. Often, the military had cool technology. I remember reading a book, how things work and it explained lots of things to me, like how airplanes fly, so I wanted to look up the fastest one and the blackbird was really cool. I love machines and used to take apart clocks to (try to) fix them too. I wasn't interested in guns despite them being in every military game, they just exploded a bullet from a shell in various ways.

Some things had a horrible magnificence like when the US bombed Los Alamo's US soldiers and the men in a documentary talked about how beautiful it was, or the terrifying effect of white phosphorus.

After writing this, I think I liked the idea of the power and leanness of the military ( wanted their gear because milspec means hardy), but also thought they had the coolest toys to play with.