I don't know you, but please don't consider yourself a loser. Ever.

There might be many reasons why you were never accepted to YC, despite applying nine times. Heck, I actually plaude your "stubbornness" / "determination", which is not common.

Don't despair. Sometimes life is hard, sometimes life has other plans for us. Perhaps there's a big success for you just around the corner.

And if not... There's nothing wrong with not being YC-backable. You are still a human being.