> Ancient versions of all the tooling. Command-line utils have that weird BSD well-water flavor. No package management.

Can be easily fixed by installing homebrew. Also you claim it is a shitty Unix experience while complaining about BSD flavoured tools.

> Funny Docker quirks.

How is that Unix related? BSD has similar issues.

Maybe you should have written the GNU/Linux experience is pretty shitty on macOS but no one claimed otherwise.