You're confusing cause and effect, which was my initial point. If those objectionable statements did not previously exist, incels and others would create them. This is why policing language is stupid. It's a symptom not a cause, and focusing on the language as the problem also punishes people who would never abuse another person.
Comedians run into this wall all the time. No one's going to hear a racy joke and then think it's suddenly ok to go assault someone. Even if someone were contemplating assault, the joke wouldn't be some "final straw" that drives them to do it, and trying to classify it as such simply ignores the real underlying issues.
The language one uses cannot influence the mindset of another person? Providing avenues to advocate for certain behavior should not be expected to increase the incidence of that behavior?
Then we have disagreed back here:
> I believe that (A) discovering what is considered normal in one’s community influences what one thinks, and (B) what one thinks is not disconnected from what one does.
and we will continue disagreeing.
I hope eventually you will change your mind, but I’m not prepared to (nor expecting to be able to) argue you into that.
In many (most?) parts of the world, for a woman walking alone after dark to see a group of men approaching often means to fear for her safety or life; in domestic conflicts women take much, much more damage from men than the reverse, the statistics are readily available.
If you consider “I don’t think it’s normal, so I don’t care what others say or write” a viable position in this context, then we disagree and I hope you will change your mind.
Generalizations, misattribution of intent and other biases against a disadvantaged group may exist in someone’s head, but when vocally expressed in a community they have the power to exacerbate an already difficult situation; especially if the majority of said community belongs to the very group that historically caused the disadvantage of the former group. (This is not limited to men vs. women or gender in general.)
It is worth phrasing things in a neutral way, even if it takes more words.