I pay $2200/month mortgage to live in the burbs of a major southeastern city. - 5 bedroom, 3-1/2 bath, 3100 square feet. It was a brand new build in 2016.

I just went to https://paycheckcity.com and did a gross up calculator. At first I thought you were underestimating how much more I would have to make to make the move worthwhile - with downsizing.

But if we were willing to downsize, I would need to make about $70K - $80K more than the average senior software engineer makes in my area.

I was off. $220K - $240K is about the average range for engineer with 3-5 years of experience in $BigTech so $6500/month is not unreasonable.