> the simple fact that Tinder and most of online dating is basically a looks based popularity contest hints at a problem for the median folks.
Why would you think real life would be any different?
There are a lot of parameters in the dating game, bug if played right, you can definitely find success on these platforms.
Best example is one of my wife's customers: a 50 year old, average looking woman, who has success on Tinder. No kidding!
For starters IRL you rarely have the density of "encounters" that you have on Tinder, so you have a lot more resources invested in meeting people, this likely increases how much time you spend on one person at a time.
Regarding the 50 year old women. She has success on Tinder? Why is that no kidding? Or you have left out a "no"?
Like you say, it is impossible.
I made that mistake when I started, until I realized that there is only 1 goal: get her on a date. And while other guys were asking "how was your day?" every few days, I asked them out after a good chat, and shortcutted it.
Not saying that these studies are not flawed, but the simple fact that Tinder and most of online dating is basically a looks based popularity contest hints at a problem for the median folks.
There's always a lot of new users, there are always a few young new and attractive users. So the majority just waits for the one. So the hot ones pair off, leave the platform (or come back and pair off with other hot ones, then repeat), but the Average Jane and Joe just waste their time and money while having their self-esteem crushed.