Re:Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century,...
by cybwraith on Friday June 12, 2020 @06:54PM
(#23504718)
I think this actually lines up with what the various stats being posted say though. Once people hit their 30s, the situation tends to reverse. Men tend to have more solid careers by their 30s and are more attractive because they are more stable, women realize they are on a timer if they want to even consider having a child.
Re:Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century,...
by purplezooey on Friday June 12, 2020 @05:09PM
(#23503944)
What exactly does conventionally attractive mean, would anyone want to be called that, heh
Re:Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century,...
by foogazi on Friday June 12, 2020 @06:17PM
(#23504464)
I’ll take getting called attractive any day thanks
Do we have to get assigned scores now?
Re:Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century,...
by antepodius on Saturday June 13, 2020 @02:40AM
(#23507352)
If you've been on a dating app for a while, you already have
1. Throughout my 20s and early thirties I was very, very unsuccessful with dating. I was shy, and lacked self-confidence. At age 32 I had had one partner, and a period from 27-32 with no relationships of any kind. I did go on a decent number of bad first dates during that period.
2. In my early thirties, I continued to be shy, not conventionally attractive, etc. But I became comfortable enough with myself to keep at dating consistently and to realize that rejections often were not about me (or didn't say anything bad about me). I continued to be well intentioned, sincere, conscientious, and generally decent. I came to understand who I was and what I was looking for better.
3. After many bad first dates, and a few unsuccessful medium term relationships, I met my wife. She is conventionally attractive. It happened that we were perfect for each other in other ways. We had similar financial values, we had compatible senses of humor, we both liked camping and backpacking, and we could just talk and laugh together endlessly (we still can to this day).
4. We dated for a year and half, got married, had kids, and have a spectacularly fortunate alliance 10 years in.
So, if my 32 year old self had read this thread, I would have been agreeing about 'apex predators' and legalized polygamy and the general hopelessness of everything.
But, I think there are many, many women who would love to meet and marry exactly the kind of decent, sincere, intelligent, thoughtful men who frequent HN. You just have to stick with it. You have to go on a lot of bad first dates. You have to be patient and not overly critical as you get to know people. You have to be looking for someone who is a really good match for you overall, and to whom you provide a lot of value.
My sincere advice is this: My 20s and early 30s were pretty awful in terms of dating. But if you meet someone wonderful for you at 33, none of that will matter in the long run. All that frustration will fade away, and you will be happy. So keep at it, even if dating really sucks most of the time.