Everyone discussing this issue needs to be very upfront and clear on whether they're talking about sex or gender. Sports leagues are explicitly about biological sex, and not gender. Your statement is not applicable here and is often used to add confusion and outrage while preventing any forward progress.

Perhaps there needs to be new vocabulary to describe sex and gender separately but that's a different topic. As for fairness, this is the best we can do on a broad scale between male and female because of the vast differences. After that we leave it to the individual to decide which sport best fits their physicality and interests.