Let's run a quick budget for a family of two adults and two kids.

The median home in the US is 2,300 sq ft. To get that in the Bay Area in a good school district will run you about $2.3M. Assuming you put 20% down, you'll need to mortgage $1.84M. At today's rates, that's about $7,360/mo in mortgage, and about $2,100 in property tax.

So we're already at $113,520 a year just for housing.

You'll also need to pay taxes on your total comp, including the RSUs that you vest in, whether you sell them or not. Assuming you make $250K a year in total comp, and let's say you have a ton of deductions to get a crazy low tax rate, you'll still pay about 30% in taxes between Federal and State. So that's 75,000 a year.

So just in housing and income taxes, we've already spent more than the Bay Area salary cap (you've spent $188K).

And we haven't even talked about insurance, cars, food, or daycare.

I can easily see a middle class family spending more than the base salary.

If you're trying to live large--which, in the Bay Area, is trying to live like a middle-class American in the midwest--you're obviously going to spend a lot more. A single person without kids is going to obviously spend a lot less (you can get a decent 1BR in Oakland for < $3k/mo and pay no property tax). And a double-income earning family is the norm for married couples, so you might not have to dip into stock if you have enough cash income.

Obviously it depends on your circumstances. But I would not attempt to live like what you describe in the inner Bay Area. That sort of lavishness--which I know is not particularly lavish elsewhere by American standards--is reserved for the truly wealthy here, or someone who bought their home long ago (even 15 years would suffice; less if you bought in Oakland).