I think I can add to your observation: The difference between a good leader and a jerk can come down to ego. A good leader may have to make a decision despite hurting feelings and enduring bad emotions, but will make the decision based on the right path even if they suffer too. Jerks will make decisions that upset others but will go to the mat to defend their own feelings and emotions.

For jerks, it's not "anything to make this happen." It's "anything to make me happen."