Not sure if you're joking yourself here, but the Stewart Lee quote is part of a skit he does about the stupidities of xenophobia, where he goes progressively further back in time getting more worked up parodying the imagined resistance of the existing inhabitants of Britain to the next wave of arrivals. It ends with him barking out some phrases in old English (?) and telling the audience to bugger off home if they can't speak the language. Pretty funny and prob on YouTube