Yeah, the list-making thing was kind of a despairing joke, because people have actually tried it. I realize it's not really fair to ask for that kind of list, but if you're going to make one, make it a list of positive things people should do, not just negativity. If someone only knows how to express themselves in a sexist way, then telling them not to do that makes them feel like they're not allowed to talk to women anymore. Giving them something acceptable to do instead leaves them with some options.
Actually, I think that's about it! Be helpful and friendly just like you would to a male developer and Don't Do Sexist Shit, and you'll be in good shape. Tech is fun. Women are innately drawn to nerding out the same way that men are. If they can do that without having sexism shoved in their faces every five minutes, then that's a pretty welcoming space. The positive is the absence of the negative.
As for a list... to some extent, it's not fair to ask women to not only deal with the assholes, but spend even more time teaching the earnestly "want-to-learn" guys what to do. Teach yourself. The internet is full of feminist advice.
A good place to start is just to subscribe to the Geek Feminism blog (http://geekfeminism.org) and read it with an open mind. If you want to go all out, dig through the archives. Feministing (http://feministing.com) is a great all-purpose feminist primer too.
And know that the folks who run those blogs generally Know Their Shit. They've been doing it for a while, and their analysis is mostly spot on, so if you find yourself thinking "this is insanity" just spend some time trying to really dig into their perspective before you go running into the fray with guns blazing.
And high five for wanting to learn. That's awesome, I respect that.