I definitely get that. We were pretty lucky - we were able to bring in a babysitter in the morning which was really helpful (still allowed here in IL). Also when our first child was born my wife and I had a business together so we had a routine from then that we could fall back on.

It's really hard, but it mostly involves insane levels of cooperation - and giving each other equal times to work and take care of the kids.

The one thing that would have made our lives much easier would have been a way to share office calendars (different companies) so that if either one of us had a meeting at any given time it was booked off for the other one.