Would be super awesome if you could share what you find! Having the same issues here - and I have a real time accepting that stuff becomes slow when you wanna return over 1k records. Sometimes way less for advanced things. Read: nested objects. But that slow? Come on.

I also use nestjs and there it seems updates to how to resolve a field has made it tons faster l, purely looking at the trace.

And I know that it won't be as fast as regular old json due to the checking but that slow? Must be something someone can do :)

Large queries with lots of nesting is exactly the situation I'm in. Perform a mutation and boom - very slow response from useQuery().

Is Apollo GraphQL helping you more than REST + queries?

I think it helped us to go really fast at first. Observable queries and subscriptions made it relatively easy to make the site feel very live and collaborative. Not sure how much help it is now as some of the magic is causing performance challenges