You have to make "sacrifices" to live in a higher density area. I put the word in quotes because it's of course highly subjective, and some folks consider living in suburbia to be a sacrifice.

I live and work in a mid sized town in the Midwest. My main uses for a car are related to being a part time working musician, and I could probably figure out how to use Uber/Lyft/Cab for that activity. My spouse and I can both bike to work, and are within walk / bike distance of basic shopping.

But if you want that lifestyle, you have to demand it. Perhaps somewhere like Berkeley, you don't demand it because it's thrust on you, or the alternative involves 2 hour commutes each way. Perhaps you won't be as choosy about your job, which in any event is a feature of living in a less dense / rich area.

And of course the other problem with the US is that you feel like you have to reach for that high income, because of the risks of being poor or even middle class in a cutthroat society. I suspect if we had free health care and a better safety net, people would be more willing to make those "sacrifices" and live a slower paced lifestyle.