Yeah, my intuition is that the person evaluating the behavior is misunderstanding it, and the person doing it could tell you if they were comfortable.

The idea of "hiding it" seems way too loaded, because it's usually in a context with an implicit value judgement.

I suspect that there are multiple factors of various importance going into every decision, and the observer is reducing, reprioritizing, and judging it against their own opinions.

Perhaps that book or some other source offers a more rigorous analysis.