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Re:“Let’s use Kubernetes.” Now you have eight problems by notyourday on Thursday March 05, 2020 @04:06PM (#22498258)
Not really - resolve all backend servers to IPs and list all of them as the nginx backends. When a backend server is removed, update nginx backends.

Round-robin balancing using DNS towards a small cluster is silly - you know when any new instance is added to the pool or removed from a pool, so why not push that load balancing onto the load balancer which in your case is nginx?

Re:“Let’s use Kubernetes.” Now you have eight problems by hinkley on Thursday March 05, 2020 @04:31PM (#22498542)
You're talking about layering the thing on top of Consul that I already identified in my top level comment.

Consul itself advertises DNS resolution for service discovery.

Re:“Let’s use Kubernetes.” Now you have eight problems by notyourday on Thursday March 05, 2020 @05:07PM (#22498869)
Maybe I was not clear.

Whatever is the technology that you use to register the active backends in the DNS, rather than doing name => ip address lookup per request, you can resolve all those names => ip address maps upon the service being brought up/taken down and push the resolved map as a set of backends into nginx config, thus removing the need to query DNS per request.