Yes, I agree and understand. Oh, believe me, I was "looking" for years. For the sake of brevity, I left out a lot of other important details, like honest self-assessment, learning listening skills, etc.

But--bottom line--without getting myself on the path to being a better adult, I was unlikely to have any luck with a dating app. I realized (or rather, my friend help me realize) that I had to improve my product before anybody else was going to be interested.

Hold up.

1. "Doesn't work for some people" is subject to the same fallacy as "worked for me." Not letting you get away with that one.

2. Working on yourself is very obviously the best way to attract someone else. Statistically speaking we get the most attention from those who perceive our value to be slightly above theirs (people tend to aim for the best around that they don't think are "out of their league"). Increase your own value and you will get more attention from higher value potential partners.

There's a little bit of a catch 22 in that if you work on yourself just to try to be more attractive you probably won't succeed. Things like genuine enthusiasm for a hobby are very attractive and hard to fake, for example. But if you become a person anyone would be lucky date it's not going to be hard to find dates, provided you leave the basement once in a while.

There are no "survivors" that never leave their basement , play video games and watch porn all day. Take care of yourself is relevant.