Then take Wilsonville, OR. It's oddly considered a metro area for Portland. It's a good 30min away and independent AF from Portland. Plus the people there are different. More old money or straight up white trash.
Metro is a really loose/gray term. To say surrounding towns are the exact same as a city is a bad idea. Let's take the purchasing decision of a home in those areas. The "value" of location compared to price and are at odds. One person is willing to pay a premium for location, the other is not. Those are two different mindsets as to what that person is willing to deal with in life.
And the overall lifestyle of a place depends on the population within a reasonable radius of travel, not what is within an arbitrary boundary.
I live in an area of NY currently that has towns similar in size to where I went to school in AZ, but the surrounding area, say a ten mile radius, has maybe three times the population. It's a very noticeable difference, both in general lifestyle and in employment opportunities, education and so on.