"I'm beginning to think there are no best practices, only best excuses."

I read it like that at first. Think about it, it's also very true.

'Best practices' is to developers as belly rubs are to alligators. There are a few of these phrases that seem to trigger some sort of docile reaction out of us.

We should probably get that checked out.

Agreed. I've noticed the exact same thing with the phrases "increases productivity" and "increases maintainability"

Because what I've also noticed is true with respect to both of those phrases is...

It. Never. Actually. Does.