I think I agree with you for the most part. I’ve got a similar setup - linux at home with an iPhone in my pocket. I’ve broken a linux installation enough times that I know well enough that I’d eventually do the same to my phone if I ran android and rooted it. It’s a inevitability for me.
I don’t need everything to be running hyper customized stuff. Sometimes simple and stable is all I need.
Yeah, I have an iPad. An iPhone. An Apple Watch. No, I can't mod these things, take them apart, etc. No, I don't care. I still have a self-built PC running Linux and a bunch of services. I still have a Macbook I can install whatever I want, even Windows or Linux if I chose to. I still have all my own networking hardware that's substantially more hackable.
Going wider, I have a car and I have a bike. One is more hackable than the other. One of them has a service light you need to go to the dealer to clear (unless you're in the know and have special tools). Some of that is in my wheelhouse, some isn't. Sometimes I pick a battle, sometimes I let a tool be a tool.
I think the world of computing is too wide to bother with puritanical about the devices I use. It's just not worth the energy when those things that are heretically 'infantilizing' etc. are just useful and pleasureful to use.