I have a 2018 2 series, with the business pack (has the cheaper navigation system, not the professional one) and my experience is that if you don't use connected apps it's great, bug connected apps are simply terrible.
They have a lot of problems synchronizing, and connected drive is just garbage. It just doesn't work, if I try to use the my phone to send a location to the car's navigation system half the times the application crashes, perhaps with iPhone it's better, but with android (and I have an android one phone, wit android 10) I just gave up on this functionality.
Interesting, I have a 2015 model, and sending destination from the phone or directly from the Google Maps on desktop always worked. I don't even need to connect my phone to the car. My wife's car is newer, and it doesn't connect to BMW Connected services at all. ;(
My 2011 X5 simply doesn't remember which key is whose, even with the box checked. If you look around, there are youtube videos of dealers demoing how it's supposed to work, and there are forum posts of folks taking their cars to the dealer countless times and it never getting fixed.
Basically: If it it works on your car, great. If it doesn't, it probably never will.
I know how it's supposed to work, my family has owned other cars with the same keyfob/system, and it works perfectly.
shrug
Can't say I agree with this in the slightest, assuming you are not talking about a 2002-2005 (EU) year which did have a very buggy implementation of iDrive based on Windows.
The issue you are describing is otherwise known as "opening the car with a key attached to the driver profile for your wife".
My 2009 3 series with the professional navigation option is not only bug-free in everyday use (with all updates applied) but substantially better than most brand new cars available today, which is why I still have it.