> Half the time I enter the vehicle the car thinks I'm my wife.

I had the same issue with a fairly old Volvo, and manually adjusting the seats for the large height difference was quite irritating (even with the setting memory feature). I was convinced it was buggy or random, until I accidentally figured out the car's actual "algorithm" - it was simply remembering the last seat setting for the key used, and since we were using a single key and just swapping the car between us as needed... Not sure why this took me so long to figure out, it was just kind of an unexpected default behaviour, given our use case of a shared car.