Agreed, what's the point, indeed? My wife and I have just forgone buying gifts for each other entirely, unless one of us happens to think of something that would just be perfect for the other, without any calendar restriction.

But we no longer feel like we have to buy something for the other on some arbitrary date looks like a birthday or holiday.

It's so freeing. Bonus: we have less stuff in our house.

Trying to implement this with my extended family. We still but gifts for the kids though, they enjoy it.