Maybe try meetups organized online? Usually every city and region has a subreddit which organizes meetups. I know it will feel forced but at least you can be one of those people at a bar for once :)

One thing to keep is the mentality that you don’t “need” friends. If one happens to come up, great. This way you don’t seem super desperate and can be yourself.

I’m sorry you feel this way, no one deserves to live like that. Putting yourself out there more can do wonders. Maybe try volunteering? Even if you don’t meet anyone, at least you helped someone out.