If it's any consolation, most engineers here are not senior/staff engineers and they make less. Rent here is very steep (~$3500/month is the median price for an old 1-bedroom in San Francisco), but the home prices are really insane.

Also, there are many companies and start-ups up here that pay much less. Lots of people scrape by, and lots of people move away.

I personally really like LA (which is not something I can openly admit up here) and hope to transfer there or to San Diego.

I grew up in the Bay Area, and while I miss the culture, I do not miss its homogeneity. Los Angeles is truly a world-class cosmopolis, but it can be grinding because of the entertainment buggers. San Diego to me is a better alternative, and where I would go to raise a family. In the meantime, I enjoy the abundance of world-class cultural opportunities in a late 80’s 2br with garaged parking for $2350/mo in West LA!