Damore never claimed that women were "more neurotic". He pointed out that women have slightly more on average of a personality trait that's conventionally labeled Neuroticism, but (if anything) is perhaps better thought of as the reverse of emotional stability. He also didn't claim that computer science was "lonely", only that it emphasizes dealing with "things" as opposed to people, and that women on average are somewhat more likely to find such an emphasis less appealing. The claims are not nearly as "bonkers" as you say, they're about slight variations which are only even detectable at the scale of very large groups, and say nothing whatsoever about what individuals are like in day-to-day life.