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Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by TeMPOraL on Sunday December 29, 2019 @06:06PM (#21909269)
For me it didn't. I'm a father of a 6 months old daughter, and so far parenthood didn't manage to take over all my dreams and ambitions entirely.
Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by icelancer on Sunday December 29, 2019 @06:10PM (#21909293)
Likewise. Only made me more driven to make sure that I make enough money to take care of my family if the worst should come to pass.
Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by TeMPOraL on Sunday December 29, 2019 @06:24PM (#21909369)
That's something else still. But yes, I've become more driven and more focused on ensuring financial safety for my family as well, in addition to not losing much of my interests so far.
Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by cpach on Sunday December 29, 2019 @06:13PM (#21909307)
That could change the coming years. I’m not saying it will. But it could.
Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by TeMPOraL on Sunday December 29, 2019 @06:38PM (#21909442)
I hope it won't.

I mean, this was probably my biggest fear about parenthood. Observing other parents, I've noticed that a lot of them lost everything that made them interesting. The kids are the only things they care about now. I don't see this as a good thing - not for parents, and not for the children. If a parent's entire self gets consumed by child-rearing, what example do they set for their children? That the point of their adult life is to have a (arbitrary, but hopefully well-paying) job in order to support their own children, perpetuating the cycle of doing nothing but breeding and dying? Isn't that meaningless and boring? To me, it is. And I'd hazard a guess that this is where midlife crisis comes from - when one's children are self-sufficient and the role of a parent is over, one realizes they have a 20 years old hole in their life, into which everything they were disappeared.

(This is my perspective as of right now. But the funny thing with perspectives is that they depend on where you stand - so who knows, maybe I'm wrong now and three years from now I'll be arguing the exact opposite? I don't expect to, but I can't rule it out.)

Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by qznc on Sunday December 29, 2019 @06:50PM (#21909504)
I'm 8 years in and I still have other ambitions. My guess is your hope has a good chance. :)
Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by TeMPOraL on Sunday December 29, 2019 @06:53PM (#21909521)
Thank you for the reassurance!
Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by icelancer on Monday December 30, 2019 @03:46AM (#21911810)
It (probably) won't. My kids are years older than yours and I have only increased my workload, transitioning from an FTE at a software shop to running a small business (not out of my house).
Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by TeMPOraL on Monday December 30, 2019 @07:15AM (#21912799)
> (not out of my house)

That's an important point, isn't it?

Home office is a wonderful thing, but now that I'm a dad, I find myself wishing for an actual, external office. Not because I don't like my own home, but because catching even a tiniest fragment of my daughter's cry next door is incredibly, incredibly distracting - even though my wife is taking care of her perfectly, I have to fight myself to not just get out of the study and render assistance.

Re:Focus has become more valuable than intelligence (2018) by icelancer on Monday December 30, 2019 @06:07PM (#21917518)
No question. I have a home office as well but I rarely work out of it unless it's very late or very early.