If you don't like using your phone, theoretically anything with bluetooth would work with the bridge, or you could just add a microcontroller and a little keyboard and display to have something self contained. Something like the toy messenger everyone is hacking to open garage doors.
But then, here I am on a wired uplink. I guess it's just that I trust my understanding of nested VPN chains in Linux. And that I trust the hardware and software enough.
Android and iOS, though, I don't understand or trust.
You make a good point about WiFi. Not going transcontinental with that. Except adjacent continents, maybe.