Circular references can be a problem, this is just something you have to live with and design for, just as in languages with manual memory management. In the typical cases where this can be a problem (graphs of objects) its very straightforward how to fix them using weak references.
I don't understand point 3 and 4 and why they would be a property of reference counting for memory management. They both seem completely orthogonal problems that have nothing to do with the mechanisms that decide when to free memory.
Anyway, my original point was not that reference counting is perfect, or even more efficient compared to garbage collection. Just that it is predictable and deterministic, which is very often much more important, especially for code with real-time constraints.
New Swift Ownership API can help, but compiler is not that good to figure out exclusive ownership all by themselves without any annotation. It is common to have more than 10% of you time in RC environment spent on refcount calculations and locks acquisition (some stats: http://iacoma.cs.uiuc.edu/iacoma-papers/pact18.pdf).
If the language supports ownership tracking and non-synchronized Rc<> as in Rust, refcount updates ought to be rare and/or quick. I agree that this is very much an issue in languages with obligate "managed" memory such as Swift, and that tracing GC may sometimes be preferable to that.
> too much time spent freeing memory
If you're using Rc, you probably care about memory reclaim being deterministic, which tracing GC doesn't give you. You can also use arenas to free a bunch of objects all at once; this also addresses memory fragmentation and slow allocation to some extent.
You can solve this with weak references.