Basic Social Skills Guide (2012)

Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012) by bort-simpson on Wednesday November 20, 2019 @04:52PM (#21588967)

What I struggle with after #3 is when I get the response "I don't know". At that point I really don't know what the next steps are beside trying to come up with solutions (and that doesn't work out too well sometimes).

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Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012) by Swizec on Wednesday November 20, 2019 @05:34PM (#21589354)

That’s when you share this story from amanda palmer

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6679223-a-farmer-is-sitting...

A farmer is sitting on his porch in a chair, hanging out. A friend walks up to the porch to say hello, and hears an awful yelping, squealing sound coming from inside the house. "What's that terrifyin' sound?" asks the friend. "It's my dog," said the farmer. "He's sittin' on a nail." "Why doesn't he just sit up and get off it?" asks the friend. The farmer deliberates on this and replies: "Doesn't hurt enough yet.

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Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012) by bort-simpson on Friday November 22, 2019 @02:29PM (#21609113)

I love this quote. Thanks for sharing.

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Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012) by danenania on Wednesday November 20, 2019 @05:00PM (#21589042)

I think it’s often a less is more kind of thing. If the goal is to listen, not offer advice or solutions, just acknowledging the answer is enough: “Gotcha”, or “I see”, or “Yeah it’s a tough one”. Then leave them the space to continue if they want to.

Like many here, this has not been natural for me, but one thing I’ve been impressed by is how much more people will be encouraged to talk if you just give them short answers that show you’re listening and leave the ball in their court vs. taking over the conversation at every opportunity. Sometimes you just have to let the silence hang for a bit.

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